Have you ever seen a child throw a tantrum? Have you ever laughed at it or rolled your eyes and walked away? Or told them to stop it?
Have you ever seen someone cry at a funeral? Have you ever laughed at it or rolled your eyes and walked away? Or told them to stop it?
Do you see where I'm going with this? We're adults, you say. Our pain is greater, you say.
No it's not. Just cause it's not something you'd get upset about, doesn't make it wrong to be upset about it.
Ever pull the wings off a fly? (Or in my extremely sensitive case, ever watch in horror as someone pulled the wings off a fly?) Nah, I'm not arguing that it's scared. They can't feel; they barely have a nervous system. They have an awareness and an instinct. When you pull off they're wings, they're entire world is suddenly wrong. Their instinct is telling them to do something they can't. "Wrongness"? That's all they know - everything is wrong. Might not be fear like what we feel but it's the opposite of finding a yummy pile of shit in which to play. Can we all agree that it's entire existence is altered for the worst?
I'm not saying to be a hippy vegan and join PETA. I'm saying dig into your empathy when you're dealing with children and their strong emotions. That's all they know.
Don't bother correcting or straightening things out for them to make them feel better. In the moment, just hold them and be sad with them cause their hurt is real. Just for a moment and then step back into parenting if you must. Please take just that moment to feel their hurt.
I'm also going to request that you just adopt this quality for everyone in your life. Everyone's pain hurts them. Don't be an asshole.
